I made a flippant comment on twitter about the price of EU membership compared to that well-known British monetary unit, the Freddo, and things got a little out of hand.
If you don’t know what a Freddo is, then you haven’t lived. It is a tiny treat, a little pice of whimsy and bliss. 18g of tasty milk chocolate, shaped like charming Freddo frog, the left’s antidote to that shit Nazi Pepe monstrosity. You can buy a massive box of them using the link below (you’ll thank me for this, I promise you):
It started off with someone still stuck in the good old days when a Freddo cost a mere ten pence, which led to much sucking of air in through teeth and “back-in-the-day”-ing, as we debated the present-day cost of a Freddo. A number of us hit the streets for some vital market research, carrying out an extensive survey of the Freddo marketplace. The end result was unanimous agreement that a Freddo now costs 30p, and lots of money in Cadbury’s pocket. It has to be the tastiest piece of fieldwork I’ve ever undertaken.
But do not see this as just a bit of larking around on Twitter; there has been some serious work put into tracking the rate of inflation of the Freddo. The graph below compares the actual price increase (purple) compared to the expected price increase in line with inflation (green).
As you can see, our wages just don’t go far enough to sustain a burgeoning Freddo habit. Someone helpfully worked out how much the minimum wage should be to account for outrageous increases in Freddo prices. In the Socialist Utopian Republic of Freddo, we would all be on at least £18/hr.
Of course this led to more silliness, although perhaps never a truer word said in jest – seeing as the UK’s primary means of communication these days is by plastering any old bollocks on the side of a bus.
I thought it would be useful to compare the price increase of Freddos to that of house prices. Everyone knows that they’re stupidly out of control, right? I was in for a shock.
Sure, last decade house prices seemed to be growing out of control. But they’ve levelled off, and the increase in values since 2000 is almost perfectly aligned with the growth you would see at a 2.33% annual rate. So Freddo inflation is even higher than that of house prices. At least millenials can still afford to buy Freddos. And if we save up 666,667 of them, we’ll be able to afford a semi-detached house in Chorlton.