At the moment, I am having really bad problems with my sleep. I go to bed tired, but my brain is having absolutely none of that. I lie awake with thoughts, sometimes of worry, sometimes of excitement, and sometimes of inspiration. And they will not shut up! And the cruel irony is that I seem to need more sleep than most people, and yet I still have to struggle out of bed early in the morning (yeah, it’s a struggle). My body clock seems staggered by about 3 hours from the norm (or from what I would like), but in reality I can’t even remember what normal is. I’ve not had a proper sleep routine for over a decade and I spend most of my waking hours fighting the urge to nod off for, oh, just a quick nap.

Which is another thing that doesn’t exist in my world: a quick nap.  Once I finally do get to sleep, it’s for the long haul.  It’s all or nothing with my sleep.

The thing with sleep problems is that they have to be tackled at the source.  Mine stem from a thyroid disorder and mental illness, for which I do receive treatment.  But both are lifelong and difficult conditions, and I’m sort-of-just-about-managing them, but they can be too much sometimes.  And my sleep is one of those things that is more broken than others.

So when things have really slipped, I try to reset the clock by popping a sleeping pill.  But this isn’t a sustainable solution, for a few reasons:

  1.  It gets you off to sleep this time, but it doesn’t solve the long-term sleep issues.
  2.  They can be addictive, so it’s not a good idea to rely on them.
  3.  Doctors know that they are addictive, and so will only prescribe a very small number at a time.  So it’s impossible to rely on them.

So for me, it’s really a last resort, to restore normality for a short while.  But maybe there’s no such thing.

More on sleep in SLEEP – PART 3

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